It has become a cliche to say that we live in a fast-paced world.
For those that are part of the ‘dinosauric’ layer of society (like me), this phenomenon tends to strike harder. We saw our parents following careers where they had the same position for decades, yes millennials, people used to be in the same position for a decade, and even more shocking: It was normal. It was OK.
But this world is long gone. To a point where circumstances change by the minute and the demands within the working environment are more and more fluid. Today, part of our mandatory set of skills is the capability to quickly adapt to changes. We have to be able to learn new things or just do it differently.
It is adaptation, ostracism, or simply professional death.
And regardless of the specificities of the circumstances forcing you to change and adapt, I will share here an insight that I’m sure can help you to create an internal process to monitor yourself in order to identify those moments where you have to act and change.
And this insight is focused on a constant assessment of the different opinions about YOURSELF.
But before elaborating on it, let me bring to the discussion two very common stereotypes that quite often we see in any corporate environment.
The first one, whom I will call Paul, is the type of person whom everybody thinks is brilliant, intelligent, and trustworthy. Someone whose opinion is always in high regard and very few people do not respect him.
The only problem is that Paul is timid and lacks self-confidence. To a point where he does everything he can to avoid any exposition. In his heart he is insecure and he has very low self-esteem.
And what normally happens in situations like this one is that other people less capable than Paul climb the organizational ladder leaving him stuck for years in the same position.
And to make Paul’s situation even worse, he has no clue that people actually think he is really good and capable. He mistakenly believes that everybody shares his view about himself.
Paul is a lion that sees himself as a cat.
The second stereotype, whom I will call Bob, is the type of person that behaves as if he was Einstein's teacher himself. He believes he knows everything. He totally believes he can do the stuff. And he will not miss any opportunity to verbalize it.
But the thing is: people despise him. His ‘friends’ mock him when he is not around and make the best they can to stay away from him.
Bob has no real credibility and does not understand why he does not receive all the chances he believes he deserves.
He will either be fired or just left in some corner having his responsibilities being diminished throughout time. If he does not disappear he will just slowly fade away.
Bob is a cat that believes it is a lion.
I’m sure you came across one type or another at some moment in your professional life.
And despite the symmetrical differences between Paul and Bob, there is one massive thing in common:
There is a clear gap between their image and identity.
And to be sure we are on the same page, ‘Image’ is the opinion others have about you. Is what you manage to expose and project about yourself. Intentionally or not, each one of us projects an image. Whereas Identity is what you think about yourself.
And quite often they are not the same.
The reasons behind this type of gap vary a lot and it is not always straightforward to be able to measure it since we are not capable of reading people’s minds with precision. It is always easier to perform these evaluations on other people since you can relatively easily compare your view against other people's opinions as well.
But the major point here is not your capacity to assess other’s gaps, but your own.
And this assessment is only possible if you monitor yourself to make it as precise as possible. Surely, if you can count on the help of people that you trust you can make this process much more effective since they can provide you fair and sincere feedback about how they see you. In addition, having different perspectives will help you to gauge a more precise assessment.
This ‘peer assessment’ is relatively easier in our personal lives. We normally feel more comfortable among friends than coworkers and to make things more tricky it is always difficult to open ourselves to criticism.
But it must be done.
Identify among your friends and coworkers whom you can count on. And bear in mind that you do not need to promote a ‘therapy’, actually the process is much more straightforward. Just focus on getting their views about what they see as positive and ‘non-positive’ characteristics about you.
And a crucial thing, do not take all this feedback by the price tag. You need to filter and take into consideration your perspective as well. Opinions received have to be qualified in an assertive manner, who hates you? God or the Devil? So take that into consideration before you get too excited or nervous.
When you see yourself able to correctly assess this gap between your identity and image, the very next step is to properly manage the situation. And the good point here is that there aren’t many possibilities to consider. In the end, you will see yourself in one of these 3 situations:
1 - THERE IS NO GAP
In principle, this is the right place to be. It means that you have a clear picture of the image you are projecting, which gives you the conditions to take action whenever is necessary. You know what people think about you. You feel when you are doing well or not and you use this knowledge to steer your actions. And if you are in an environment where there are the right amount of challenges, you are doing really well.
But when you realize that your Image and Identity are pretty much a match, then the very next thing you have to do is to check if you are in an environment where you are exposed to the right amount of challenges and demands.
The danger is to be around people and circumstances that do not push you enough, which can be an issue for your personal and professional growth. You really need to confirm that this is not the main reason behind this absence of a gap. And if this is the case, you need to find a way to change these circumstances. Work-wise that can demand a change within your organization, like move to a different department or position or basically try to find another opportunity elsewhere.
The bottom line is to make sure that you are performing as you intend and, second, that you are in an environment where you are challenged, which allows constant growth.
2 - YOUR IDENTITY IS BIGGER THAN YOUR IMAGE
In this case, Identity is higher. You see yourself in higher regard than your peers. And that is a dangerous place to be.
Well, most of the time. The very first assessment you have to do is to evaluate if you are among the right people. And “Right” here means that you may be among a group of incompatible people or in a group where you were not accepted “in” for a reason that is not necessarily a problem with you. You just didn’t fit in. In this case, the question you need to ask yourself is: is it worth it? Sometimes you are just among an incompatible group of people and the right thing to do is to move forward and away.
But do not forget that this is a very tricky analysis to do, so be very careful here.
Another possibility, the most dangerous one, is when you realize that this gap is actually an error of judgment from your side and the negative (or not positive if you prefer) evaluation you are receiving is valid and correct. In this situation, you need to manage your feelings to separate personal and professional aspects. Act immediately! Talk with people that you trust and make sure you have a very fair understanding of the nature of this gap and see first if you can bridge it. If you need help, do not hesitate to ask. Speak with your manager or with HR. See if you can receive internal or external training. Having someone to act as a mentor can be very productive as well.
But the bottom line here is to act as soon as you realize that this gap is there. Eliminate it! Or reduce it to a point where it becomes something more manageable than a serious problem that can jeopardize your career.
3 - YOUR IMAGE IS HIGHER THAN YOUR IDENTITY
This is very similar to Paul's situation and it tends to be a consequence of one of the following root causes:
Lack of confidence
Low self-esteem
Priority management
If this situation hasn’t been happening for a long period of time, you can be in a period of low confidence, which is a situation that most of the people go through once and while in their lives. In this case, you need to work quickly to reassert the parameters you have been using to judge the whole situation. Talk with people you trust and observe that you can change your perspective and the way you see yourself.
But if you see that this situation is happening for a long period of time, then the very first thing you need to assess is your level of self-esteem. Do not forget that self-esteem is your opinion about yourself and if you have been undermining your results and performance for a long time, then the problem can be bigger than you may think, and depending on the level of your low self-esteem you may need to look for a more specialized opinion, such as a doctor or a therapist.
The root cause can be a medical condition such as a chronic and unseen illness or a high level of anxiety or even a degree of depression.
If you don’t feel the need to see a doctor, you can try to improve the situation by changing some of your habits and the way you see yourself and your work. Physical activities, a more positive attitude and an increase in the level of socialization can have an immediate effect on improving the situation. But keep special attention to the results, if you do not see progress, then it is time to revisit the medical option.
But if you think that confidence or self-esteem is not the root cause, then there is a third option to consider. Have a close look at the way you have been managing your priorities. You need to answer the following questions: Are you spending more time and energy with problems and tasks that are not under your responsibility? Are you helping others to the detriment of your own work or priorities? These are very common causes of this type of gap. Since you will make people quite happy while you do not see any benefits for you. And situations like that happening for a long period will definitely take a toll on your level of satisfaction and self-confidence.
Keep an eye wide open to this type of situation and act swiftly.
CONCLUSIONS
Paul should invest time and effort in building more confidence and work to develop
different capabilities and soft skills linked with confidence building. Bob, on the other hand, will need to reassess his technical and non-technical skills. He may actually lack different levels and types of knowledge. It can be one specific skill directly linked with his line of work, a programming language or a technical procedure for example, or it can be a soft skill like presentation, teamwork, or resilience.
Whatever is your case, closing this gap will help you to grow not only professionally but personally as well.
This self-assessment needs to be a cyclic exercise. You need to develop this behavior to be always aware of any gaps you may have.
Life is dynamic.
Conditions and circumstances are ephemerous.
The only certainty you can have is that you have to constantly adapt to the changes within and around you.
It can be a technological change that may require some sort of skill that you do not have. An organizational change that will create new demand in your work that you are not prepared to do.
The possibilities are immense. The fact is that in this fast-paced world you will face changes more frequently than you would expect or wish.
Opportunities come and go. And normally, professional progression is linked with advances within your skillset. Are you monitoring this situation? If not, opportunities can come and you will not be able to even recognize them.
And regardless if you see yourself in a position similar to Paul or Bob, the crucial thing is what are you doing to close this gap.
In my decades of professional experience, working with and within different cultures, I came to the personal conclusion that when this gap is really small, the more success the person experiences.
Keep a constant eye on your Identity and in the Image you are currently projecting.
Or, as I love to hear in the London subways, “Mind the Gap!”.
If you liked this article, feel free to send me your feedback to email@anildo.com. I invite you as well to have a look at another article I wrote that is very complementary to this one: Small Actions, BIG differences! in the following link: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/small-actions-big-difference-anildo-silva/
